Dr. Julia's phone:
What Kind of Father Is That?
By Rev. Julia Johnson
According to Erma Bombeck, God created fathers for an unmotherly role.
When God created fathers, he started with a tall frame. Observing that, a female angel nearby asked, “What kind of father is that? If you are going to make children so close to the ground," she continued, “Why have you put fathers up so high?"
God simply smiled and said, “if I make him child-like, who would children have to look up to?” The angel shook her head and said, “God do you know what you are doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails, or even splinters caused by baseball bats.”
Again, God smiled and said, “I know! But are they large enough to hold everything a small child empties from his or her pockets at the end of a day, and yet small enough to cup a little face?”
Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulder. And the angel nearby almost had a heart attack! “Boy! This is the end of the week alright,” she chuckled, “Do you realize that you just made a father without a lap?”
God smiled and said, “A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a child on a bicycle, or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus.”
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen, when the angel, who could contain herself no longer said, “That’s not fair! Do you honestly think those big boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?”
God smiled again and said, “they will work!"
"You see, they will support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill.”
Then God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a firm, authoritative voice, and eyes that saw everything but remained calm and tolerant. And finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears. And then he turned to the angel and said,“Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as any mother?”
And the angel shuteth up.
I dedicate this piece, by the late Erma Bombeck, to all of you who have been fortunate enough to have experienced a father like that or are attempting to become the kind of father who will leave very large shoes to fill.
Happy Father’s Day!
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