Phone: 843-682-8177

Dr. Julia's phone: 843-815-4133

May 2012

Under a Parent's Wings

By Julia Johnson, Ph.D.

 I like to think of May and June as special months for celebrating Parents.   So as we move into Mother’s Day and then Father’s Day in June, it’s important to remember As the song, "The Greatest Love of All,"says, 

“ children are our future.” And therefore, “we must teach them well, let them lead the way and show them all the beauty they possess inside.”   As parents, our responsibility is not only to teach them all the beauty they possess inside, but to let them lead the way because our children come to show us a better way.

Accepting the role of being a parent, means that, although we do provide the vehicle for their souls, our children come through us but not from us. 

As Kahlil Gibran says, parents are just the bows from which our children, like living arrows are sent into the world. That of course, makes every little soul that enters our lives an ambassador for God.

In his book, The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran says, “Your children are not your children.  They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.  They come through you but not from you and although they are with you, yet they belong not to you.  You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts.  You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwells in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.  You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.  For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

From that perspective, parenting is not only a great privilege and awesome gift from God, but it is an awesome teaching/learning experience.  An experience that makes our job as parents, if we choose to accept it, ‘stand-ins” for God on earth.  

In her book, How to Let God Help You, Myrtle Fillmore, the Co-Founder of Unity, whose primary concern was always with the children, says,

“Parents are but representing the divine Father-Mother in receiving and caring for these new body temples, which their souls are building for the further development of the God-given faculties.  Remembering this takes away the sense of anxiety and burden, and gives great peace and joy.”

 Seeing ourselves as representatives or ‘stand-ins’ for God on earth, certainly can make the job easier.  Since God loves us unconditionally which means that we don’t have to do anything to earn God’s love, and we are ‘stand-ins” for God on earth, the first and most important step is to love our children unconditionally.  

Remember how easy it was to love your children unconditionally when they were precious, little infants?  That is how God loves us and that is what makes us feel safe.  Therefore as a stand in for God, it is your unconditional love that makes your children feel safe.  And feeling safe is what it is all about. Because giving and receiving are the same, as they feel safe, your sense of safety as a parent will increase removing the burden and the anxiety that sometimes accompanies parenthood.   

After becoming a mother, Connie Chung, the famous newscaster was asked how it felt to be a mother after so many years in a childless marriage. Without hesitation she spoke about that kind of unconditional love we feel for our children and said, “I adore my husband, but I didn’t understand the true meaning of love until I became a mother.  If my husband walked in front of a train, I’d say, ‘honey be careful a train is coming.’ But if my son walked in front of a train, I’d throw my body in front of the train to save him.”

That instinctive love, so profound that it makes a parent willing to risk his or her life to save their child is seen frequently in nature.  Years ago, after the Yellowstone fire, National Geographic posted a penetrating story of just that.

After that horrific forest fire, as rangers began their trek up the mountain to access the inferno’s damage, a ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, the ranger knocked over the bird with a stick.  As he did that, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother’s wings. 

The mother bird, keenly aware of impending disaster, kept her chicks under her wings instinctively.  knowing that toxic smoke would rise, she could have flown to safety but refused to abandon her babies.  When the heat of the blaze scorched her body, the mother bird remained steadfast.  She died knowing that her chicks, under the cover of her wings would live.  Under the cover of your wings as a parent, may your children feel just as safe.

  Happy Mother’s Day!

Unity  of Hilton Head Island: A Path for Positive Living
Seaquins Ballro0m (Fred Astaire Dance Studio)
1300 Fording Island Rd.
Near Tanger I Outlet Mall
Bluffton, SC

Phone: 843-682-8177
Dr. Julia's phone: 843-815-4133
E-mail: unitychurch@hargray.com
Mailing Address:  P.O. Box 130,  Bluffton, SC  29910