The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express, to communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life. - Don Miguel Ruiz
As Father’s Day approaches, I find myself thinking about Don Miguel Ruiz and his book, The Four Agreements in which he gives four agreements that can change our lives. They are: Be impeccable with your word, Don’t take anything personally, Don’t make assumptions, and Always do your best.Although Don Miguel suggests that we incorporate those four Agreements into our everyday experience so that we can regain our sense of personal power, he also suggests that we become aware of the negative agreements that we previously made, and become willing to replace them with new agreements that will not only improve our self-image but increase our sense of personal power.
There is no doubt that his Four Agreements, if used regularly will improve our ability not only to be a fully functioning person, but a very effective parent. Since according to Ruiz, all our Agreements are either based on Love or Fear, I like to ask myself, “which of my agreements lift me up, and which of my agreements bring me down. According to the book, the agreements that lift us up are based on Love and are therefore true. And, the way we recognize agreements that come from Love, is the same way we recognize relationships that come from love. They energize us. He says, “The agreements that come from love help us to conserve energy and even gain extra energy therefore, the emotions that give you energy are the emotions that come from love.” And, he assures us that the agreements that come from fear, not only bring us down and rob us of our energy, but are simply not true.
So the question to ask yourself as a parent of young or adult children is,“does parenting energize me or bring you down? Answering that question honestly will help you to replace each limiting agreement with a new one based on truth and self-love.
According to Don Ruiz, the good news is that every time you become aware of a behavior based on fear that is not true, and decide to replace it with one based on love that is true, the faith that you have invested in the lie based on fear, comes back to you as personal power. Think of what a difference that will make, not only in your life, but in your parenting experience..
Although parenting can be one of the most inspiring yet difficult experience we sign up for, being Impeccable with your word is the first step in the process because, since your children are learning from you when you think they are not watching, being a fully functioning person is the best gift you can give your child.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!